Ernest & Carmen

I have been taking a back step and looking at my christian life and my ministries, and I was surprisingly disappointed...Head down, focused on the task, I've been going hard and going strong for so long that I've forgotten one of the most important thing in ministry - my relationship with people!! I suppose I hadn't completely forgotten it, but it's definitely blurred.

I had always known that my relationships with people were rather awkward, but I convinced myself it was because it's a new church, new environment, new people, different age gaps, lack of time, etc, etc. I allowed myself to accept it and to plod along without trying too hard to change it. But it's really starting to hit me now. I'm becoming ineffective because most of the teenagers (and even some of the older ones) can't relate to me.

I don't know what to do.

Am I being too hard on them? Too serious? Too many changes? Too many new ideas? Too radical? Too long-winded? Too...what? I wonder what God was thinking when He put me into this church...

I dunno...but I trust that He knows what He's doing.

<< Pray that I can build better relationships with the people I am serving so that I can build them up in the faith effectively. Pray for a heart and mind of understanding and genuine love amongst us so that we may grow and mature together as the body of Christ. Pray also that I may not be dishearted by the hardships of being a slave of Christ but to persevere so that I may present everyone perfect in Christ. >>

We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me. (Colossians 1:28-29)

On the last day of my holiday, I went with a bunch of friends to The Jenolan Caves to see the River Cave. It was an amazing sight to behold - to see how the caves were formed by a river and how the various formations were caused by dripping water - and to know that this was all carefully carved out by Creator God. Upon exiting the serene and quiescent caves and back into the 'real' world, I was struck by the brightness of the colours and the canorous sounds of nature, mixed in with the repugnant noise of traffic - all in a split second.

That's kinda what the past week has been like. In the weeks of rest, I had lost track of time and place and events and people and all that was familiar. But going back to work now I was quickly reminded of the realities of work and ministry and relationships and the 101 things to do. Good thing I braced myself for it.

One of my main priorities at the moment is to work out the music for the RICE Outreach Night (Fate). Problem is that I can't seem to get hold of the people I need and there's not much time to arrange a practice. Knowing that most people who are in ministry are fairly busy, I'll be hard to find a time where everyone is available as well. But what happens on this night is particularly important because it's where the gospel will be preached and people will be challenged to respond to the cross of Christ. And the music will hopefully work to that goal as well.

<< Pray for the logistics of organising the band that will play on the night. Pray that I can find the right people and a time to practice, and pray especially that the songs we choose will assist in proclaiming Christ. >>

The other main thing is church camp. There may be some complications on the chinese side because our speaker is from Toronto - where the SARS virus is a cause for concern. If they bail out, then the english side will go solo (which might be a good thing), but we'll have to find an alternative campsite. It'll be difficult to find much available with such short notice, and it'd be a shame if we were to cancel it after all the work that's gone into the past month.

<< Please pray that the SARS situation will be resolved soon and that no more people will fall sick and/or die. Pray that we can find a suitable resolution to the camp so that it can continue and be an edifying time for everyone. >>

And I'm also in the process of writing up my second newsletter. Coming your way...

All good things must come to an end...

Been spending the last 2 weeks lazying around, mostly at home doing nothing in particular. It's funny how you can be doing "nothing", and yet spend so much time on it. I guess when you try to pinpoint what exactly you did, you can't think of any one thing...just bits of bric-a-brac. The only thing I think I did was sleep. I must've caught up on 6 years' worth!!

But I'm slowly adjusting myself back to a normal routine. Even been doing a bit of work! ("Tsk, tsk, tsk", I hear you say) Got church camp stuff to prepare, TG to think about, and RICE things to work on.

Watch out everyone! I'm back!

<< Thank God for the period of rest and refreshement. Pray that as I get back into work mode that I can continue to glorify Him in all that I do. >>

Has it been only 15 months since I left? A short span of time by any accounts, but already much has changed. I visited the morning service and Sunday School (aka SYG) at WSCCC on Sunday, with the purpose of seeing some of the kids I taught while I was there. I had wanted to do this much sooner, but had no opportunity until my holiday was cancelled. Seeing the once familiar faces brings back nostalgic memories of my first 2 years as a Bible study leader.

In many respects, these kids had not changed much. The older boys still hung out together in their little corner, doing their best to ignore the leader without being noticed. The younger boys...quiet and studious as always. And the girls as keen as ever, despite the constant distractions around them. Seemingly the same, and yet...different. I could imagine most of them in formal suits and evening dresses for a Year 12 formal! But more so, I could see that some of them have matured as Christians and are still going strong, while others have become laid back and apathetic.

I wanted to hug them and ask how they're going and what school's like and what's happened in the past year and...but I found myself emptied of words. The jumble of thoughts which fought for attention in my mind suddenly subsided, and I was simply left with a sheepish grin on my face. I had a fleeting glimpse into the mind of my own Sunday School teacher when he came back for a visit. The bittersweet feeling, heightened by the now decrepitating management of SYG.

It's hard being in the business of changing lives.

<< Thank God for giving me the opportunity to teach these kids and to mould them at a young age. Pray that they may continue to grow passionately for the gospel and that one day, they too will be in the business of changing lives with the gospel. Pray also that the structure and management of SYG may improve so that it will be a ministry that effectively makes long-term disciples for Christ. >>

From phone calls, to SMS, to emails, to speaking in person, and even to a blog, I have received many warm wishes on this strange day that marks my entry into history - aka April Fool's Day. I've never been in the habit of celebrating it (with the exception of my 21st), but it is nice to be remembered. Thanks especially to all the masterminds and the conspirators that were behind the surprise cake on Sunday and tonight!! =)

And what a good time it came as well. With the ever-worsening case of the SARS virus, I have constantly been asked to reconsider my decision to travel to HK. I was rather adamant (read: stubborn) about this trip - since it's my first real holiday and a rare chance to see my parents. But with the barrage of advice I have been receiving, I have finally relented and cancelled my trip.

I hadn't had a chance to really get excited about it yet, but it was a disappointment nonetheless. Yet amongst the mixture of warnings and warm wishes, it finally hit me that there were people who cared. I don't mean so much that people cared it was my birthday, but that people cared for my happiness, my health, my spiritual growth - they cared about me. And it's not that they didn't care until today, but that I failed to appreciate it fully.

Thank you everyone. You are all the presents I could ever hope for - and more.

<< Thank God for the wonderful gift of relationship and friends. But most importantly, thank God that He can love a wretched being like me. >>