Ernest & Carmen

...the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. (James 3:5)

Right now, I feel like the great forest that's been set on fire and burnt down to charred, black soot. And all because of a small spark. Or rather, two small sparks.

I received some feedback today on some of the english ministries at Rockdale. One from a young visitor, and another from an irregular, uncommitted 'Christian'. Normally, I can take critism with a fairly open mind. But today, these two people made some rather gastly wounds. They did nothing but critise - negatively (as opposed to contructively)! Okay, that might be a slight hyperbola, and perhaps they had no such intention. But it certainly cut deep.

Ouch.

I really did try to take in the feedback and to listen. But it was just too much coming from people who had no idea what's going on and what I've gone through and how much the church has achieved in a short time. I kept my cool, but inside I was a swirl of sadness, disappointment, anger and pride. I don't know if it was self-righteous pride or not, but I pour all my energy into my ministries. And to have them knocked around so carelessly...it felt like my very being was being brutalised. Every word that he says is a dagger in me...*sob*... :'(

<< Please pray that I may not harbour bitter thoughts in my heart against these people and instead continue to serve God faithfully and to struggle with all His energy to present everyone perfect in Christ. Pray that God may give me a heart to love people with Christ's love, especially when I don't have to ability nor desire to do so. >>