Ack! My computer has died! I'm trying to sneak in a quick entry here at work...
...and gasp! The boss caught me just as I was typing this in! :O
My power supply blew on Sunday night. It shouldn't be hard to fix up, but just so you know in case you're eagerly awaiting my next blog instalment or you're expecting an email from me or if you don't see me much on ICQ/MSN.
Eek...feeling a bit lost and useless without my PC. I'm definitely much too dependent on it!
Caught up with an old high school friend J for lunch today. We've known each other since Yr 9, and he's one of the very few people I keep in touch with from school days. I have always wondered what my school friends think of me these days...they're the people who would know what I was like as a non-Christian, and be able to compare that to what I'm like now.
Would they see any differences?
Or do I still act like one of 'them'?
I've always been a pretty 'good' boy (from a worldy point of view) - obeying my parents, respecting my teachers, studying hard like every Asian kid should. Even though I had friends who like getting drunk and being stoned, I was always strong enough to resist them. I was not an 'obvious sinner'.
But perhaps it's people like me who are in the most danger. I had always thought I was ok. I didn't see any problems with my focus on study/career, and neither did anybody around me. Unknowingly, I deceived myself into thinking I'd get into heaven. And to add to the delusion, I believed in Jesus - but I had no idea (even now) what I believed about Jesus.
Today J gave me an answer. Not a complete answer, but an answer all the same. He asked me why I'm now so devoted to church and stuff. And I was able to share my testimony with him, and to explain the gospel within that. But like many of our previous conversations about Jesus, he only seemed to see it as an interesting story, and no more. He often shows a certain curiosity for Christianity, but always afraid to pursue it. Like a kid who wants to learn to swim, but only ever dips his toes in the water before jumping out again.
We chatted about various other things related to Christianity, and I invited him to meet up to read the Bible together. He turned me down, but I left him with an invitation to go the the launch of This Way Up. I really hope that he'll come so that he can keep hearing about the great news of salvation through Christ Jesus. Sometimes I feel that he is so close to saying 'yes', but something always holds him back.
Have mercy, O Lord.
Would they see any differences?
Or do I still act like one of 'them'?
I've always been a pretty 'good' boy (from a worldy point of view) - obeying my parents, respecting my teachers, studying hard like every Asian kid should. Even though I had friends who like getting drunk and being stoned, I was always strong enough to resist them. I was not an 'obvious sinner'.
But perhaps it's people like me who are in the most danger. I had always thought I was ok. I didn't see any problems with my focus on study/career, and neither did anybody around me. Unknowingly, I deceived myself into thinking I'd get into heaven. And to add to the delusion, I believed in Jesus - but I had no idea (even now) what I believed about Jesus.
Today J gave me an answer. Not a complete answer, but an answer all the same. He asked me why I'm now so devoted to church and stuff. And I was able to share my testimony with him, and to explain the gospel within that. But like many of our previous conversations about Jesus, he only seemed to see it as an interesting story, and no more. He often shows a certain curiosity for Christianity, but always afraid to pursue it. Like a kid who wants to learn to swim, but only ever dips his toes in the water before jumping out again.
We chatted about various other things related to Christianity, and I invited him to meet up to read the Bible together. He turned me down, but I left him with an invitation to go the the launch of This Way Up. I really hope that he'll come so that he can keep hearing about the great news of salvation through Christ Jesus. Sometimes I feel that he is so close to saying 'yes', but something always holds him back.
Have mercy, O Lord.
<< Thank God for helping me to keep in touch with J all these years and to catch up with him today. Please pray that I can be bold in explaining the gospel to him and challenging him to take this message seriously. Pray that he will be willing to come to the CD launch and that it'll be useful in bringing him to faith and repentance. >>
Got a sad SMS the other day. One of my non-Christian friends flew overseas for the sole purpose of chasing after his girlfriend, whom he met when she was on holidays here. It's a real surprising move, not only because of the enormity of what he did, but also because he has never been really serious about relationships before.
And so it was with great sadness that I received his SMS the other day. He found out that his girlfriend slept with another guy the day before he arrived. He is so hurt at the moment and he doesn't know what to do. He has lost his love, he is lost in a foreign country, without friends and without family. *sob*
As his token Christian friend, he asked me for advice. I didn't really know what to say at first, since everything I believed in about sex and relationships would be different to him. But in the end I just told him what I thought. I replied in a brief SMS to him, and later supplemented it with an email. Here's most of it:
How're u holding up over there mate? I still can't believe what happened. I can't even being to imagine how u must feel right now. I know that nothing I say will make u feel any better, but I'll do my best to give you my opinion on the situation.
Christianity is not so much a religion, or traditions or rituals. Fundamentally, it's about relationships. Relationship with God, with spouse/partner, with friends, family, work mates, customers, etc. And as I said in my sms, faithfulness is a key aspect in relationships. Because a wife is to be a life long partner, the closeness of the relationship means that faithfulness is so much more important to me. If she cannot be faithful in this relationship, how can we work together in creating a family and in looking after each other for the rest of our lives?
To make it worse, I think sexual betrayal is the worst form, because it is something physical and internal, as opposed to say lying, which is verbal and external. The impact it leaves is far deeper, and its impact is long and lasting. That's why Christians hold sex in such high regard and to be reserved only for marriage. Conversely, we abhor so strongly sexual sin of any nature.
Sexual betray is such an epitome of sin that God uses it to illustration how we treat him. Of all my friends, I think u would understand best how it feels when someone whom you love so immensely and whom you went to great lengths and sacrifice to chase after, now turns away from you, and goes instead to someone who hasn't done anything worthwhile. Imagine if this happens again and again every time after you've forgiven her. Imagine if she keeps sleeping around with other men again and again. That is exactly how we treat God. If you have the Bible I gave you, have a browse of the book of Hosea (check the index at the front). The entire book is exactly about that.
God created us and loved us and gives us life, but we live as if He doesn't exist. We turn away and ignore Him and keep on living lives chasing after other things - wealth, pleasure, fun, excitement, etc. But God doesn't give up on us, and instead sends Jesus to bring us back to Him. He went as far as dying for us in order to bring us back into relationship with Him. But we still keep ignoring Him, and doing things that hurt Him.
It's just like what you did to go after M, and just like what we did when we turned away from God. If you're hurting now, try and imagine how much God is hurting now. The reason I bring all this stuff up is because I think you have a bigger and far more important issue to deal with than your relationship with Michelle - and that is your relationship with God. Turn back to Him now and get into a right relationship with Him.
But Christianity for me is not a theoretical faith - all talk and no action. But it's a practical one. So I'll continue to tell you what I think of the situation. Bear with me.
God doesn't give up on us even though we turn away and ignore Him. But He is patiently waiting for us to come back and say sorry to Him. Now, this is not just a matter of lip service and just saying sorry, but asking God for forgiveness and accepting God and treating Him as He deserves. God is willing to forgive us if we ask for it.
If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would be able to do the same thing that God did for us. Firstly, you'll have to see whether M is sorry for what she did. Was it a one night stand? Was she drunk? Does she know how hurt you are and is truly sorry for what she did? It's one thing to say sorry, but she needs to show true change in her life in treating you as you deserve.
Even as a Christian, I think I would find it hard to forgive her. But that probably betrays my own stubbornness and hard-heartedness. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive her, don't expect things will be all ok. It'll take a long time for her to be able to amend that trust and for the relationship to be restored. But open and honest communication will go a long way in helping that along.
Rejection.
Saying sorry.
Forgiveness.
Living a changed life.
This may or may not summarise what will happen between you and M. But it certainly describes the life of a Christian. I hope I haven't lost you in all the details. I know there's a lot there to digest, and I've probably dealt with the issue much too intellectually and not personally enough. But I really am sincerely concerned for you and want to help. The only thing I can do from across the world is to pray for you and entrust you to the all powerful, all wise and loving God.
Feel free to write back, and even yell at me if you think this is all a load of crap. I'm here for you waiting for you man.
And so is God.
Your long-winded buddy,
Ernest
How would you react to this? What would you say in response? What about if you were in his situation? What would you do as a Christian?
And so it was with great sadness that I received his SMS the other day. He found out that his girlfriend slept with another guy the day before he arrived. He is so hurt at the moment and he doesn't know what to do. He has lost his love, he is lost in a foreign country, without friends and without family. *sob*
As his token Christian friend, he asked me for advice. I didn't really know what to say at first, since everything I believed in about sex and relationships would be different to him. But in the end I just told him what I thought. I replied in a brief SMS to him, and later supplemented it with an email. Here's most of it:
How're u holding up over there mate? I still can't believe what happened. I can't even being to imagine how u must feel right now. I know that nothing I say will make u feel any better, but I'll do my best to give you my opinion on the situation.
Christianity is not so much a religion, or traditions or rituals. Fundamentally, it's about relationships. Relationship with God, with spouse/partner, with friends, family, work mates, customers, etc. And as I said in my sms, faithfulness is a key aspect in relationships. Because a wife is to be a life long partner, the closeness of the relationship means that faithfulness is so much more important to me. If she cannot be faithful in this relationship, how can we work together in creating a family and in looking after each other for the rest of our lives?
To make it worse, I think sexual betrayal is the worst form, because it is something physical and internal, as opposed to say lying, which is verbal and external. The impact it leaves is far deeper, and its impact is long and lasting. That's why Christians hold sex in such high regard and to be reserved only for marriage. Conversely, we abhor so strongly sexual sin of any nature.
Sexual betray is such an epitome of sin that God uses it to illustration how we treat him. Of all my friends, I think u would understand best how it feels when someone whom you love so immensely and whom you went to great lengths and sacrifice to chase after, now turns away from you, and goes instead to someone who hasn't done anything worthwhile. Imagine if this happens again and again every time after you've forgiven her. Imagine if she keeps sleeping around with other men again and again. That is exactly how we treat God. If you have the Bible I gave you, have a browse of the book of Hosea (check the index at the front). The entire book is exactly about that.
God created us and loved us and gives us life, but we live as if He doesn't exist. We turn away and ignore Him and keep on living lives chasing after other things - wealth, pleasure, fun, excitement, etc. But God doesn't give up on us, and instead sends Jesus to bring us back to Him. He went as far as dying for us in order to bring us back into relationship with Him. But we still keep ignoring Him, and doing things that hurt Him.
It's just like what you did to go after M, and just like what we did when we turned away from God. If you're hurting now, try and imagine how much God is hurting now. The reason I bring all this stuff up is because I think you have a bigger and far more important issue to deal with than your relationship with Michelle - and that is your relationship with God. Turn back to Him now and get into a right relationship with Him.
But Christianity for me is not a theoretical faith - all talk and no action. But it's a practical one. So I'll continue to tell you what I think of the situation. Bear with me.
God doesn't give up on us even though we turn away and ignore Him. But He is patiently waiting for us to come back and say sorry to Him. Now, this is not just a matter of lip service and just saying sorry, but asking God for forgiveness and accepting God and treating Him as He deserves. God is willing to forgive us if we ask for it.
If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would be able to do the same thing that God did for us. Firstly, you'll have to see whether M is sorry for what she did. Was it a one night stand? Was she drunk? Does she know how hurt you are and is truly sorry for what she did? It's one thing to say sorry, but she needs to show true change in her life in treating you as you deserve.
Even as a Christian, I think I would find it hard to forgive her. But that probably betrays my own stubbornness and hard-heartedness. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive her, don't expect things will be all ok. It'll take a long time for her to be able to amend that trust and for the relationship to be restored. But open and honest communication will go a long way in helping that along.
Rejection.
Saying sorry.
Forgiveness.
Living a changed life.
This may or may not summarise what will happen between you and M. But it certainly describes the life of a Christian. I hope I haven't lost you in all the details. I know there's a lot there to digest, and I've probably dealt with the issue much too intellectually and not personally enough. But I really am sincerely concerned for you and want to help. The only thing I can do from across the world is to pray for you and entrust you to the all powerful, all wise and loving God.
Feel free to write back, and even yell at me if you think this is all a load of crap. I'm here for you waiting for you man.
And so is God.
Your long-winded buddy,
Ernest
How would you react to this? What would you say in response? What about if you were in his situation? What would you do as a Christian?
<< Pray for my friend that he may find comfort from God through this difficult time. Pray that I can be sensitive in speaking with him and giving him godly advice. Pray that he will seek counsel from God's Word and heed the message of the gospel, and in doing so restore his relationship with the Lord Jesus. >>
I had a most fantastic time at Club 5 this year. Not to say I didn't enjoy it the previous years, but this time it was even more so.
A few people asked me why I even bothered going since I had already made up my mind to go to college next year. Here's a few reasons:
...hang on, that's sounds like heaven!! =D
A few people asked me why I even bothered going since I had already made up my mind to go to college next year. Here's a few reasons:
- Catching up with old friends.
Every year it's a bit like a reunion as I catch up with friends from all over Sydney and even Brisbane. There were people who've been there the last few years and we went through the different stages together. There were people I knew who came along for the first time. Particularly encourage was seeing a few friends I met at KYLC strand 1 this year who are already thinking of serving God in full-time paid ministry.
- Meeting new friends.
With over 100 Asians there, plus lots more other Caucasian, there was never a shortage of new people to meet. It's always exciting to meet other like-minded Christians who are passionate about the gospel.
- Encouraging others and being encouraged in turn.
It's most encouraging to hear about how God has been working in people's lives and how everyone is growing in their different ways. It's also good to have people share about why they're at Club 5, their thoughts about ministry, their struggles with church and life, issues they're thinking through, and how they've been challenged over the weekend. I try to share about my own journey as a Christian and how I came to decide on full time ministry. A common topic was Asian parents and how to seed the idea with them. I'm certainly no expert, and my experience will definitely be different to others, but nevertheless I think it was good to share with people.
- Bringing people along.
As I mentioned in my last post, I bought 2 people along with me from my church. I think they were hit with a lot of new stuff and they probably feel like they've been through the spin cycle on a washing machine. I just hope I can help them clear up some of the confusion and give them some direction.
- Sitting under God's Word.
This is of course the best part. Being taught by great teachers and being forced to face reality - the reality of sin, judgement, the gospel, false teachers, and the hard journey ahead as a Christian. Not a pleasant thought at first, but if we look at things with the 'glasses' of the gospel, then we will see the unseen. We see only the internal and eternal, not the external.
...hang on, that's sounds like heaven!! =D
<< All glory be to our almighty God for His amazing mercy and love in sending Jesus to rescue us and bring us into relationship with Him. Thank God for this message and the way in which it compels us to live and die for Him.
Thank God for the many many people all over Australia who are being challenged to consider full time ministry. Pray that God will continue to use the ministry of Club 5 to raise up faithful ministers of His Word so that more and more people will be reached with the great news.
Thank God for the opportunity to meet so many brothers and sisters in Christ, and especially for bringing Dennis and Cindy to this conference. Pray that we willl all keep growing in godliness and faithfulness through our understanding of the Bible as we work out how we can best serve God with our lives.
Pray that Dennis and Cindy can be teachable and open to all that they were challenged with. Pray that I can help them to clarify their thoughts and to help them to grow more and more in Christ's likeness. >>
One thing I forgot to mention yesterday. I'm going to Club 5 this long weekend!!It'll be my 4th and last time as a candidate before I go into college. It's always a great time to catch up with friends from all over Sydney and hear about how God's been working in and through their lives. But more importantly, it's a great opportunity to be sitting under God's Word and being totally blown away by it.
But this year, I'm even MORE excited that usual! Because Dennis and Cindy Tan from my church are coming with me for the first time. I've so immensely encouraged by the fervor in their growth as a Christian and seeing how that flows out into their lives in the way they live and serve. I'm sure that this weekend will be a real eye-opener for them and we'll be back buzzing with excitement for the gospel.
Aren't you excited now as well? =)
But this year, I'm even MORE excited that usual! Because Dennis and Cindy Tan from my church are coming with me for the first time. I've so immensely encouraged by the fervor in their growth as a Christian and seeing how that flows out into their lives in the way they live and serve. I'm sure that this weekend will be a real eye-opener for them and we'll be back buzzing with excitement for the gospel.
Aren't you excited now as well? =)
<< Praise God for the great ministry of Club 5 and the way it challenges men and women of all ages to give up their lives in service of Christ. Pray that Dennis and Cindy will have a great time meeting fellow like-minded Christians and be struck anew with the great message of salvation. >>
Yesterday I started a new role at my work in the accounts department. I did some basic accounting stuff years ago, but all of that has been long forgotten. Trying to reach into the deep crevices of my mind, I surface with only blurred memories of credits, debits, journals, receivables, etc...So I have to re-learn everything now.
I went out for street evangelism on Tuesday. We met 70+ year old Joe in the park and for once I didn't know what to say to him. He was from a Catholic background, and so I asked him what he knew of the person Jesus. In response, he started waving his arm around to gesture at the people around him.
"Young people these days," he growled, "have no idea what it's like to be hungry and poor. They've never had their homes bombed. That's why they think they don't need God anymore." (This is not word for word, but the gist of what he said)
How true indeed!
But because of that, I fell silent. All these different responses came to mind, but they got lodged in my throat. In an email to a friend, I said:
"I'm not sure why I was lost for words. I don't think I was intimidated as such, but I think it was because I felt so removed from his world of thinking and life and I felt anything I said would seem like a young, arrogant kid to him. He was talking about how people in today's society have no idea what it's like to live in poverty and have their homes bombed and stuff...and how people don't really think about God anymore...I think he must've been referring to his war time experiences. And I'd agree with him, and under normal circumstances I could've easily use that to talk about the gospel. But then I felt unqualified to challenge him because of the way he thought of young people. I didn't want him to think I was another one of those arrogant youths trying to lecture him on Jesus. So in the 1-2 sec that it took me to process that and become dumbfounded, my partner (who's a fair few yrs older) took over. *phew*"
My partner George ended up having a very good conversation with him. But even as the two of them were talking, I still could not recompose myself to join in. George tried to include me a few times but I could only stumble out with a few words. George explained Two ways to Live to him and invited him to CBF next week. He seemed to accept.
Although I dismally failed, I did learn from George in the way he handled the situation and spoke Joe. So aside from a slightly bruised ego, it was a rewarding experience.
Tomorrow I will also be catching up with an old work mate Jackson. We've spoken at lengths in the past about Christianity and he has a reasonable understanding of the gospel. Sadly, he continues to reject the lordship of Christ because he wants to continue living his hedonistic liftstyle.
I've tried to keep in touch with him, but on Sat he will be leaving for UK on a working visa for at least 2 years. Funnily enough, he main reason for leaving is to chase after his girlfriend. He has never been a playboy, but he never took relationships seriously either. But he fell head-over-heels over this girl who came traveling in Sydney for a few months. Never would've expected it from him, but then again, I never would've expected to have such good conversations with him about Christianity either.
So I'm meeting him for the last time tomorrow. I've given him a Bible and "A Fresh Start" in the past. This time I'll give him "1st Century Answers to 21st Century Questions" as a parting gift. The book is meant to be for Christians, but I think it'll be good for him to see how the Bible deals realistically with practical contemporary issues. Hope that he'll actually read it.
I went out for street evangelism on Tuesday. We met 70+ year old Joe in the park and for once I didn't know what to say to him. He was from a Catholic background, and so I asked him what he knew of the person Jesus. In response, he started waving his arm around to gesture at the people around him.
"Young people these days," he growled, "have no idea what it's like to be hungry and poor. They've never had their homes bombed. That's why they think they don't need God anymore." (This is not word for word, but the gist of what he said)
How true indeed!
But because of that, I fell silent. All these different responses came to mind, but they got lodged in my throat. In an email to a friend, I said:
"I'm not sure why I was lost for words. I don't think I was intimidated as such, but I think it was because I felt so removed from his world of thinking and life and I felt anything I said would seem like a young, arrogant kid to him. He was talking about how people in today's society have no idea what it's like to live in poverty and have their homes bombed and stuff...and how people don't really think about God anymore...I think he must've been referring to his war time experiences. And I'd agree with him, and under normal circumstances I could've easily use that to talk about the gospel. But then I felt unqualified to challenge him because of the way he thought of young people. I didn't want him to think I was another one of those arrogant youths trying to lecture him on Jesus. So in the 1-2 sec that it took me to process that and become dumbfounded, my partner (who's a fair few yrs older) took over. *phew*"
My partner George ended up having a very good conversation with him. But even as the two of them were talking, I still could not recompose myself to join in. George tried to include me a few times but I could only stumble out with a few words. George explained Two ways to Live to him and invited him to CBF next week. He seemed to accept.
Although I dismally failed, I did learn from George in the way he handled the situation and spoke Joe. So aside from a slightly bruised ego, it was a rewarding experience.
<< Pray for Joe that the message of the gospel will leave a deep impression on him and provoke him to respond in faith and repentence. Thank God for George and the things I learnt from him that day. Pray that I can remember them for evangelism in the future.>>
Tomorrow I will also be catching up with an old work mate Jackson. We've spoken at lengths in the past about Christianity and he has a reasonable understanding of the gospel. Sadly, he continues to reject the lordship of Christ because he wants to continue living his hedonistic liftstyle.
I've tried to keep in touch with him, but on Sat he will be leaving for UK on a working visa for at least 2 years. Funnily enough, he main reason for leaving is to chase after his girlfriend. He has never been a playboy, but he never took relationships seriously either. But he fell head-over-heels over this girl who came traveling in Sydney for a few months. Never would've expected it from him, but then again, I never would've expected to have such good conversations with him about Christianity either.
So I'm meeting him for the last time tomorrow. I've given him a Bible and "A Fresh Start" in the past. This time I'll give him "1st Century Answers to 21st Century Questions" as a parting gift. The book is meant to be for Christians, but I think it'll be good for him to see how the Bible deals realistically with practical contemporary issues. Hope that he'll actually read it.
<< Thank God for the relationship I've built with Jackson over the years, and especially for the great conversations about Jesus. Pray that the Spirit may continue to stir up his heart so that through the Bible and through the Christian books he may one day come to a saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus. Pray that I may be able to keep in touch with him even as he travels overseas so that I can continue to minister the Word of God to him. >>
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